An Exploration of Procrastination

Cartoon by Dave Walker

Several years ago I facilitated a creativity group based on Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. One week we came upon the concept of “perfectionism” and the author’s insights on how it impacts our lives and sabotages us. Until that point I hadn’t given much thought to the negative aspects of the word or how its meaning works on us.

Ms. Cameron describes perfectionism as a means of self-criticism. In attempting to be perfect we’re actually saying that we aren’t OK just as we are. We aren’t good enough. Nothing is ever good enough to the perfectionist. What happens to us when we subscribe to the “not good enough” mantra? I know what it does to me. It shuts me down. If I’m never going to be good enough, then what’s the point of trying?

That question led to an exploration of another word: procrastination. When I shut down I procrastinate. I associate all kinds of negative behaviors and words with procrastination. The list is comprised of adjectives like lazy, unmotivated, non-productive, and sedentary. I don’t accomplish anything. I distract myself from the activities that I could be doing to move myself forward in life. This is the negative consequence of procrastination.

Recently I’ve started to wonder how procrastination serves me. It must do something for me or I wouldn’t procrastinate. I wouldn’t cave in to the brain chatter that tells me my efforts won’t work or won’t be good enough.

All of us have those little voices – little Gremlins in the mind -- that comment and criticize our thoughts and actions. Why do I choose to listen to mine?

Then I had an epiphany. Procrastination keeps me safe. It doesn’t require me to take risks or rise to challenges. It doesn’t expose me to possible criticism or the chance that some one may disagree with me or not like me. It shields me from the possibility that some one might notice me – that they’ll see I’m not good enough. The procrastination Gremlin tells me, “Stay right where you are. Hide! No one will notice you and you won’t get hurt.”

Procrastination demands camouflage. Its attending Gremlin is the critic that reminds me to remain under cover.

Lately I’ve engaged this particular Gremlin in conversation. I begin by saying, “Thank you. I understand that you’re trying to keep me safe. For that I’m truly grateful. AND I’m going to move forward anyway…” I admit to myself that some actions are risky and balance that with the benefits of forward motion.

The Gremlin never turns off the caution light. It keeps blinking, but with less intensity and urgency. It serves as a reminder that I really could get hurt by taking risks. It’s OK for me to acknowledge that … AND I’m going to move forward anyway.